Somehow we've been programmed to judge at any cost.
To judge the way someone looks, talks, walks the way they parent, the way they decide to show up in the world, the home they live in, the food they eat, the places they holiday, the choices they make.
To the point that the judgements serve no purpose but to create rigidity and toxicity within ourselves.
And often (if we are really honest) this is because we are secretly judging ourselves about something and projecting it outwards.
I catch myself doing this and ask myself: "What's really going on? Why am I really making this judgment?"
Usually, I identify, it's an unhealed part of myself that is crying out to be heard/seen.
It's rarely about the person or the situation I am pouring so much energy on to.
I'm not talking about moral 'right and wrongs' - the things that our hearts just know to not be kind, fair or loving but in the choices others make based on their own circumstances and life experience.
And it is possible to choose something for ourselves whilst not condemning others for their choices.
We can NEVER EVER truly know someone else's heart or intentions and when we judge them for not living up to OUR own standards it creates separateness because we say: I am perfect because I live my life like this and as you do not you are imperfect.
But the thing is NONE of us are perfect OR EVER WILL BE and it's in realising this that we truly begin to truly connect in love with ourselves and others again.
The paradox is the part of us that fears being judged as being IMPERFECT is the same part that seeks to judge the imperfections in others. When we allow ourselves to be whole, complete AND imperfect we no longer fear being 'caught out.'
We see ourselves for who we truly are and not as someone who must reach a state of perfection. When we choose to stop judgments we seek to to understand and seeking to understand turns to compassion.
The most compassionate thing we can do for ourselves is to break the judgment cycle and redirect that energy into seeking out things that make us feel good!!
And a heck more can be healed from a place compassion than will ever be seen from a place of judgment.
When we see that we have the capacity to judge and the capacity to be WRONG we not only free others from being the source of our judgement we actually stop judging ourselves.