I really dislike the sayings "don't get too big for your boots", "you'll get a big head", "stop blowing your own trumpet" and other silly phrases that cause fear of expansion. Here's why...
Picture the scene...💭
You have just completed something AWESOME. Perhaps you scored the new job you've been praying for. Maybe you just passed a milestone exam. Or you lost the weight that you'd been trying to lose for some time. You feel proud of yourself. Really really proud. You know you've grown in confidence, skills and experience along the way.
Then it happens.
You share the news excitedly with your friends/family/peers/colleagues and whilst in the main most people are soooooo genuinely happy for you, there's that ONE comment that just deflates all of that self love, self worth and self confidence in one spiteful, gut-wrenching blow.
The snide remark - that, although disguised as "a bit of fun", is really meant to "bring you down a peg or two". The "ooh look at you Miss High and Mighty...aren't you pleased with yourself?!"* (*or something similarly mean-spirited)
It STINKS And it STINGS. LIKE HECK.
And worst of all it triggers a soul-destroying spiral of shaming you into self-success-silence.
Because for a second there you actually believed that you had EVERY SINGLE RIGHT in the world to pat yourself on the back, big yourself up, feel pretty darn good about yourself and your life.
Well you soon learned how wrong you were.
And you suddenly felt like the biggest loser ever for daring to throw your accomplishments in the face of others in such a 'conceited' way.
"Who on EARTH do I think I am? I'm Nothing special. Why did I have to go showing off like that? What MUST THEY ALL BE THINKING?"
You made the experience mean that it's wrong to grow and it's wrong to expand and it's wrong to get 'too big' and it's not safe to outshine others.
So instead you learn to hide.
To play small and to shy away from your greatness, pushing it down inside of you, deflecting compliments along the way so as not to invite any attention that could be misconstrued as vanity.
The inner voice that once praised you now only points out your flaws and seeming imperfections.
In fact the voice inside begins to sound less like your voice and more like the voices of sneaky putter-downers and their predictably poisonous 'oh-so-witty-wisecracks' that seem to inevitably come your way - all while you do your best to laugh them off and pretend that they don't actually puncture a tiny bit more of your soul with each scheming stab.
And on and on and on it goes.
Then one day you stumble across something that inspires you.
A story of someone who once lost their light and had somehow found it again. You follow their story. You absorb their message. You let those lessons begin to heal you. You forgive the foolishness because you know ultimately it was born of fear.
A fear of expansion in themselves and others that had probably been passed on to them at some point, instilled a deep belief that that it was not safe to stand out and shine or "get above your station".
And as you slowly reignite that light inside of YOU that had long been extinguished, it allows those who have have been dimming theirs the chance to see the truth once again.
That we are MEANT to shine.
You begin to again hear that whisper inside that had been drowned out for what felt like an eternity.
You finally reawaken and you remember who you truly ARE...
A amazing being of infinite possibility.
Just as the Universe is forever expanding and growing, so are you.
We all are.
Moral of the story: Don't allow ANYONE (yourself included) to talk you out of your right to BE as BIG and as MAGICALLY MIGHTY as you ARE! No words can ever disqualify your GREATNESS because you were born to EXPAND into it.
So be it.
Love Kirsty x